Fueling Up The Self Worth Tank

From the oh so wise Poppy:

“Soooooo, here’s the challenge: Fill up someone else’s self worth tank. Let’s say nice things about how awesome each other is so that we feel like our existence on this planet is not a waste of space, time, and energy. If you’re strong enough to say nice things about yourself, then do that too.”

That’s just a handful of sentences in a very smart post you should probably go read, but it’s enough to explain what I’m doing here.

Occasionally I get the urge to send random emails to people saying “by the way, you’re awesome, just so you know.”  I actually had that urge this morning and remembered Poppy’s post and figured I’d do better than that and make it public.

Just A Few Of The People That Miss Britt Likes, Respects, Admires Or Just Plain Thinks Are Awesome:

Finn – you know how some people are just good, through and through?  That’s Finn.  She’s genuine and kind, but more than that, she is a million times more mature than I am.  I kind of follow her around because she is always lightyears ahead of me on the “learning to find balance in life” thing.  I have a crazy amount of respect for her.  She does such a great job of staying centered and keeping her priorities straight, something that I am constantly struggling to get better at.

Maria – since the first time I met her, I’ve found myself often just sitting in awe of this woman.  She is that rare combination of kind and funny.  But what amazes me the most about her, what puts her on my list of Women I Respect Most In This World, is that she is constantly looking inside herself to find answers.  If her life or an event in her life isn’t going well, she doesn’t run around pointing fingers at what everyone else is doing to contribute to her unhappiness.  Instead, she does the harder thing, the painful thing, and looks at what’s going on inside her own head and heart.  I don’t think she realizes sometimes that this single act, this tough choice that she makes over and over again, is a unique sign of strength.  I get the feeling she doesn’t even know it’s a choice that she’s making, because persona responsibility is just that deeply ingrained in who she is.

Barbara – I’m not sure I’ve ever met another person who made me feel so fiercely that “this is who I want to be when I grow up.”  Barbara gave up a successful career in corporate America to travel around the world, simply because it made her happy.  It hasn’t been easy and she’s faced many of the consequences that keep many of us from making similar decisions, but she presses on anyway.  She is one of the most courageous people I’ve ever had the good fortune of meeting.

Faiqa – it almost feels like a cop out to include Faiqa on this list, because I think everyone who has ever met this woman admires her, but I think it’s important to never assume that the people who deserve our praise the most get enough of it.  Yes, she’s pretty and smart and funny.  But you know what?  So are a lot of people.  What makes Faiqa so truly sacred to me is her integrity.  She is one of the most ethical people I know – and I admire it all the more because I know that staying true to her integrity is a conscious choice she makes over and over again, and not just something that “happens”.  She told me recently that we should all be careful about whose approval we seek, and I can say unequivocally that this woman’s approval is something worth striving for.

Poppy – the fact that Poppy inspired this post has nothing to do with her making an appearance here.  What she doesn’t know is that at least once a week I find myself telling someone else about how much I respect her.  When I’m struggling to hang on to my own sense of self, this is the woman I call.  Not because she knows me better than I do, but because she knows herself better than anyone else does.  She is committed to knowing and appreciating herself, and she makes no apologies for that.  She is one of the few women I know who can say with confidence, “I know who I am and I love who I am – and that’s enough.”  I am constantly hassling her with phone calls and emails, not so that I can be more like her, but so that I, too, can learn better how to be a more authentic version of me.

Becky – anyone who knows me will not be surprised to see Becky’s name on this list.  I make my adoration of this woman well known on a constant basis.  She is the only person I’ve ever known whose pureness of heart rivals Jared’s.  Becky’s gift to the world is unadulterated joy, and she gives of it freely to friends, family and strangers.  This is the woman I call when I need to cry or vent or rage about the injustices of the world, simply because I know that she is strong enough to take it.  I never have any doubt that my own venom will taint  her goodness, and I know in the end that she will help me find my way back to love.  Everything you need to know about who Becky is can be seen in her love of dandelions.

Cissa – this may seem like an odd inclusion, because Cissa and I aren’t exactly friends.  In fact, that’s specifically why I’ve added her here.  I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for the past couple of days.  You see, when Cissa moved to Central Florida a few months back, she went out of her way to befriend me.  I?  Basically ignored her.  I simply wasn’t in a place in my life where I could invest the energy necessary to become better friends with someone I didn’t know well.  Naturally, Cissa was hurt – I mean, who wouldn’t be?  But what amazes me, looking back, is that she didn’t take that hurt and channel it into some kind of blind rage.  She didn’t launch some “Miss Britt is SOOOO mean!” campaign (at least, not that I’m aware of, lol) or any of the other things that most of us naturally do when we have reason to feel rejected.  Instead, she “put on her big girl panties” (as she describes it) and got the fuck on with her life.  She recognized pretty quickly that if I couldn’t appreciate her friendship, I wasn’t worth fretting over.  It may sound odd to applaud or respect someone for that – but think about how fucking hard that is to do for a lot of us.  The more I think about, the more I am in awe of her emotional maturity and the more I respect the way she responded to my inability to give back to her.

Of course, the irony is that I look back on that now and think “damn, Britt, that is probably the type of person you actually want in your life, dumb ass.”

Regardless, she has my immense respect and admiration.

Father Muskrat – I usually describe this guy, simply, as “a good egg”.  He adores his wife and the two of them together represent one of those couples that you cannot help but envy because they are both just supremely awesome people.  I can’t exactly put my finger on what I like so much about him, but I have been dying for my husband to meet him since the first time I had a face to face conversation with him.  He’s one of those people you find yourself proud to be friends with and saying “you have got to meet this guy, he’s just really, really great.”  Yes he’s smart and funny and has never lost a case, but none of that is what makes him a stand out for  me.  I think it is the soft heart that lies underneath all of that and his genuine desire to do right by his fellow man.

If ever you’re in need of a real life role model in your life, I highly recommend hitching your wagon to one of these stars.

If you don’t see your name on this list, you will probably think this is the most. boring. post. ever. – but hopefully you don’t see it as a sign that you are not awesome.  As my oh so wise friend Faiqa always says, a compliment to one thing does not necessarily equate to an insult or disregard of another thing.

Thanks for the idea, Poppy.  It’s amazing how damn good it feels to love up on other people.

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