What’s in a name?

I had breakfast Sunday morning with Hilly, Adam, Adam’s wife Amy, Faiqa and Shari.  (I wonder what it’s like to have friend who don’t require links when you mention them…)

Faiqa is pregnant, so damn near every time I see her I ask her what kind of makeup is making your skin so fabulous?!? and have you thought about baby names yet?

Apparently, in her family, the meaning of the names you give your children is very important.  In fact, I think she used the word expectation. ( Those Pakistani people are not hippies, let me just say that.)  Her daughter’s name means “wisdom”.  As expectations go, that’s not too bad.

My first thought upon hearing about this custom was holy shit, you people start out early with the demands! But then I wondered… what’s in a name?

Faiqa’s name means “superior”.

For those of you who don’t know her, let me assure you – she lived up to her parent’s expectations.  The woman is superior incarnate.

Adam means “man”.

His parents set the bar low.  All he has to do is hang on to his penis and he dies a success.  Of course, his girlish tendencies could suggest that he is a major disappointment.

Hilary means “cheerful”.

Although she is currently experiencing life online as “divorce girl”, Hilly is absolutely cheerful.  Even when she’s not perfectly happy, she’s cheery.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s one of her defining characteristics.

The meaning of Shari is “a flat clearing”.

Hm.  She doesn’t have super big boobs, I guess.  And she is pretty even keeled.  If my emotional well being is the Sierra Mountain Range, Shari could definitely be called a flat clearing, I suppose.

Amy means “beloved”.

If you’ve ever read Adam’s blog, you know that he adores his wife.  It’s safe to say that, at least in her marriage, Amy has met and exceeded the expectations of her name.

The name Jared means “descending” or “descendant”.

I’m sure there are some who would say that Jared descended into the depths of hell when he agreed to marry me.  Poor bastard.  Of course, descending can also mean “to lower oneself”.

The man is definitely humble.  Unless you’re talking about whether or not he is hot.

My son Devin’s name is Irish for “poet”.

I’m not seeing that.  And I’m wondering if I fucked the kid for life by giving him the name “poet”.  Perhaps I should have chosen the name of an occupation that actually earns a living. Great.  Yet another way I’ve failed him as a parent.  AWESOME!

My daughter Emma’s name means “whole” or “universal”.

Clearly, I loved my second child more than my first.  Although, applying that definition to her personality is a stretch.  I don’t think of her as “pertaining to all”, but rather very much her own person.  Maybe it’s not such a great idea to get your baby names from popular 90s sitcoms.

But… does it matter?

Do you know what your name means?  Is it true to form or completely out of left field?

Incidentally, the name Britt means exalted.

Bow down, bitches.

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