How many times should a girl have to say she is not porn?

You know, you use the word vagina a few times and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a porn site.

Seriously.

First, it was Panera bread.

If you try to access this site using the free wi-fi provided at any Panera location, you’ll get a message that it is blocked due to inappropriate material. Of course, if you try to look up dolphin porn at Avitable’s blog – well, Panera has no problem with that!

Apparently the word fuck is more offensive to Panera’s delicate senses than dolphin blow jobs.

When the lovely Ashley featured me on the “Pulse of Central Florida”, he asked me about my “adult” content. I had to explain, again, that I DO NO WRITE PORN! Damn.

I’ve gotten used to it, I suppose. I respond to the emails from would-be readers asking why I am blocked by their IT department without so much as a huff of indignation. I apologize and offer to add them to the list of “people who have to be emailed my content under a code name”.

But the email I received this morning… well… this is a new low. Even for me.

See, I’ve decided to launch a review site for women. I’ve seen a lot of mommy review sites around and always wondered “where the hell are the sites for the REST of the shit women spend their money on?” I also thought, “this economy is kicking my freaking ass and I need a better way to whore myself out without exploiting my dear sweet readers at Miss-Britt.”

So anyway. Buy-Her. Reviews and stuff about things I actually buy.

As part of the process, I started looking for advertisers and affiliate programs (see earlier economy kicking ass and me willing to be whore in order to pay mortgage references. See also: too fat to strip.) I filled out a crap load of applications, got accepted by some and rejected by others. Blah Blah Blah.

The point of this story is this:

Frederick’s Of Hollywood rejected me.

By email.

By an email that stated, and I quote:

The reason for this decision may be as follows:

* inability to access Web site
* Web site not yet live
* inappropriate material on site

Um. Yeah. The site is live and accessible. But? Apparently?

I AM TOO FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE FOR FREDERICK’S OF HOLLYWOOD!!

For those of you who don’t know – Frederick’s sells lingerie. RAUNCHY lingerie, to be specific. Raunchy lingerie like CROTCHLESS FUCKING PANTIES, to be even MORE specific.

But *I* am too inappropriate.

I don’t even know what to do with that.

In other news…

 

Yeah. Apparently I’m not too dirty for Playboy’s online store.

Yet.

My parents must be so proud.

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