How Twilight Changed My Life

I resisted at first.

“I’m just not into that goth crap,” I insisted months ago when people suggested I read a novel about vampires.

“I’m damn near 30, thank you very much,” I scoffed when I heard grown women were swooning over books written for teenage girls.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I told Avitable when he offered to lend me his Twilight Books.

I had to be dragged to the movie with promises of 2 hours off work and free popcorn.

“Fine, I’ll go watch the movie. But I’m planning to annoy you through the entire thing with my running commentary.”





There was, indeed, running commentary. And it consisted mainly of “Oh. My. God.” and “holy shit” and “I have never in my life seen a more beautiful creature. Ever.” There may have also been a few “squeeeeeeee!”s thrown in for good measure.

There are not enough words in the English language to express to you how amazing the Twilight movie was, how absolutely heart stopping the love story is, or how utterly delectable Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen was on the big screen.

Suffice it to say that I…

…Came back to the office and immediately changed the wallpaper on my computer


Lest you think that is no big deal – my previous wallpaper was Prince.

…Officially declared Twilight my Favorite Movie Of All Time

Up until Friday, my Favorite Movie Of All Time was Dirty Dancing. It had been Dirty Dancing for roughly 20 years. Not once in those 20 years had I ever for even a moment dared to blaspheme the awesomeness of Johnny and Baby by so much as considering that another movie was my Favorite Movie Of All Time.

Edward trumps even “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” Johnny. Seriously.

…Left work early to buy the Twilight Book With The Special Movie Edition Cover.

Twilight Book Cover Featured Edward’s Hotness – and some other people

“Are you sure you don’t want the original?” the Barnes & Noble clerk asked me.

“Does the original come with a picture of Edward Cullen? No? Then yes, I’m sure.”

The 20 something boy with spiky hair and dark rimmed glasses shook his head and chuckled. “I’ll never understand the big deal about this,” he muttered not quite to himself.

“I said the same thing until about 2 hours ago when I saw the movie.”

I could see he wasn’t convinced.

“No, really. I’m telling you, I know it was written for teenage girls but this is the hottest movie I have ever seen in my life. I mean, there’s no sex in it, but…” at which point the 20 something wanna be hipster shoved a bag and a receipt in my hand and gave me a look that said both Thanks for shopping and Beat It, you creepy old lady.

…Spent my entire Saturday in bed, devouring the Twilight book.

On the plus side, Devin has learned how to cook Ramen noodles by himself. Personally, I think that anything that teaches my children how to be a little more self sufficient must be a good thing.

I doubted it was possible, but the books are just as good as the movie. Possibly better, if only because it gave me eight full hours with the saga as opposed to just two.

…Have Become An Advocate For Teen Sex

Edward and Bella have to have sex.


If these two do not end up consuming each other at some point I will lose my damn mind. And if wanting two 17 year old children to get it on is wrong, then I don’t want be right.

I am completely in love and craving more.

Thank God there are three more books in the series.

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