Next they’ll be shipping me off to charm school

At dinner last night…

Devin, what did you do at daycare today?” (Man, I am an awesome mother.)

“Went skating. Remember?”

*blank stare* (Still! Awesome mother!)

“Remember mom? We left my skates at home on accident?”

We didn’t leave anything at home.”

“Yes we did! Remember?!”

“Um, no. Thank you. We did no such thing.”

“Mom, it’s OK. I’m half of the ‘we’.”

“Is the other half a turd in your pocket?”

“Excuse me?” (said with utter disgust)

“Do you have a turd in your pocket?” (said while giggling)

“Oh. My. Gosh.” (more with disgust and a new hint of disdain)

“What? My dad used to say that to me all the time!” (said with more giggling at the fact that I am now quoting my parents and using them as a reference)

“Yeah, well, that was your DAD!”

*blank stare of utter confusion*

“It was your DAD, not your MOM.”

“Right. I get that. What’s the difference?”

“Your dad is a boy… your mom is a girl…” (said very slowly so as not to confuse the retards)

*LIGHTBULB!*

“Are you telling me that it’s OK for a boy to say turd but not a girl?”

“uh – YEAH. (moron) That just doesn’t sound nice coming out of a girl’s mouth.”

I think my fucking 8 year old just told me I wasn’t very lady like.

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I don’t even want to think about the lecture I’d get from him if he ever happens to hear last night’s show – which you can CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD. Ahem.

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