I bet you thought my husband was the only man I would trot in front of the Internet for my own amusement. Didn’t you?
Well, you were wrong.
My disrespect for manhood extends far beyond the narrow confines of The Man I Have Sex With. My irreverence knows no bounds. And yours shouldn’t either.
To prove my point, today we begin with a subject who is in no way at all my husband:
(OK, so if you know my boss you might suspect he is an easy target. Play along.)
Once he is good and tied down comfortable, it is best to get to work quickly before he comes to his senses. In other words, roll up his pants and fill up the tub – so that it would be awkward for him to try and leave.
Before she pulls his hooves feet out of the water, it is helpful to thank the nice Asian lady. A lot.
After much poking and prodding and clipping and scraping and rubbing and cutting and shaving and tweezing… it is important to stop and check on The Subject.
And then, once you’ve ensured that everything is fine…
You break out the Purple Polish.
And that, my dear readers, is how you take another bite out of manhood.
Want to see the pretty purple piggies in all their glory? Bask in their awesomeness here.