The Secret: the cliff notes

I’ve read a lot of “self improvement” books over the years.  In fact, I’ve read enough that I think I am now qualified to not have to actually read the new ones that come out.  I am confident that a brief synopsis that I can pick up from the book jacket, asking others who actually have bought and paid for it, and Oprah – should do just find.

And that’s why I’m not buying The Secret (holy fuck, it’s a movie?  I didn’t know it was a movie!  Wikipedia kicks ass)

Besides, the author herself says that she was “inspired” to write the book/make the movie after reading other guru-books (many of which I’ve already fucking read myself anyway).

ANYway.  Not the point of the post.  I’m getting there.  Seriously.

Brief synopsis of The Secret & The Law Of Attraction, by Britt:

– What you think about you bring about, which means you HAVE to think positive.  Because if you’re not thinking GOOD thoughts, you’re thinking BAD thoughts… and you’ll bring down some wicked bad shit on your life.

– Think Positively in the present.  In other words, not “I will be a world famous porn star”.  But rather “I am a world famous porn star!”  Your brain basically hears that as a command, looks around and goes “oh shit, I’m supposed to be a world famous porn star!!!” and does what it needs to to reconcile reality with that command.  I mean, basically.

– Act as if.  I just got this little tidbit from my mom, who actually is reading the book.  In other words, once you’ve decided on what you WANT to happen, have faith that it WILL happen, and just go on about your life “as if”.

Heh.  This has proven for some interesting scenarios. (This is also the point of the post, in case you missed it)

“Act as if.”  I am putting out the “my house is sold” vibe pretty hard core right now.  In order to really do it with gusto, I decided to “act as if”.  Unfortunately, it seems my current mortgage company has not read The Secret.  Much as I tried to explain to them that I was no longer the owner of the house and therefore not responsible for that because the proceeds from the sale paid that mortgage OFF…. they want their money.  By the first.

Unenlightened fucks.

So, I thought, maybe I need to think bigger.

“Act as if.”  I am a world famous, hugely rich and instantly recognizable… uh… something.  Doesn’t matter what.  Rich, famous.  I’m like Paris Hilton – no one knows how she got there or what she does, she just is.  I think I need to work on my pampered celebrity routine.  Because the lady behind the JCPenny’s counter in BFE Iowa was not amused by me.  At all.  Nor was she willing to “just send me a bill honey, you know who I am” (picture half-hazard toss of shopping bag over shoulder as I flounce… ala Julia Roberts).

The bitch soooo doesn’t get thinking big, obviously.

I feel like it’s possible I may, maybe, just may be missing something here with The Secret.  I guess it has been a while since I’ve read my latest Napoleon Hill book.  I guess I could go out and buy myself a copy.

Perhaps I should just “act as if” my mom has already finished hers and “borrow” it.

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