A long, long time ago, on a blog far, far away, I read a cool quote that inspired me to type a line into an entry and save it as a draft. The oh so wise Fringes advised her readers to “Love On Those Who Love You”, and I remember thinking – ohhh how much easier my life would be.
You see, I am a girl who lives by the carrot and stick philosophy far too often. For those of you unfamiliar with this anti-zen approach to life, allow me to elaborate. Basically, you spend your entire life chasing after the things you WANT, and never truly being able to enjoy the things you already have. You find yourself saying “I’ll be happy when…”, “I’ll consider myself a success if…”, “I’ll start really living my life when…” You’re constantly moving from one goal to the next, spending all your time swinging for brass rings and very little (or none) actually holding on to anything.
Holy fuck this is getting deep. And it’s not supposed to be. At all. I wanted to just quickly sum up the fact that ORIGINALLY I had planned on using the “Love On Those Who Love You” bit to flesh out an entire post about who I need to love the people who already fucking appreciate me and stop wasting my energy on the losers who don’t. And then I was going to laugh at how I wasn’t going to be that deep at all, but how instead I was going to use the fortune cookie wisdom to talk about myself. And Avi.
Fuck. This is not going well.
Um, so, those who love me… not Charred. Fucker. I resubmitted to IT2M because my original submission came on the exact day that I took my original blog down. I, being the egomaniac perfectionist that you’ve all come to adore, was really hoping for a raving review about how bright and funny and articulate and interesting and hot my blog portrayed me to be. I imagined a whole new rating system being developed just for me because nothing to on file could accurately measure the awesomeness that is Me.
Yeah. Um. It didn’t really go that way. I got two smacks. Two. Fucking. Smacks. Amy The Wonder Whore got more smacks than me (which, I’m pretty sure, means she owes me shoes if she would like to buy back my love and adoration. I’ll take these in a seven and call us good.) For most reviewers, two smacks means you spelled your fucking name right and didn’t put up pictures of poo or food or food in your poo. Two smacks? Pfft.
Despite constant reminders and assurance that two smacks from Charred is damn close to a parade, I was so close to turning into one of the raving loons who goes all “not mah site, bitches!!” on their asses (and I’m sure I would have been able to win another award in the process – can you say “bonus!!”?)… but then, those who love me came out.
Ya know, you submit to things like this for two reasons. To whore yourself out in the hopes of brainwashing a few new readers, er, Traffic. And public adoration. I didn’t notice a big up tick in traffic. But you people definitely validated my very reason for existing here on Earth, er, proved that it is worth getting up in the morning, um…. made my day. So, thanks for that. Really. Hugs and kisses and puppies and kitties and flowers and rainbows to all of you.
Especially, this one.
In sticking with the “those who love you” theme, I am practically obligated by Blog Law to love up on the Avitable. And cordially invite you to his new home – which is GORGEOUS I might add (in a dark and twisty way). The little bastard has twice the readers as me and really doesn’t NEED little ol’ ME to whore him out. But, I just got out of church and we talked about doing nice things “just because”.
Avi always reminds me of what I learned about in Church. So, go over there, and tell him I sent you. Even if you normally just lurk here and never, never, comment. You must go there and prove my worth, er, weight… no… influence – and say “What is up mah ho!! Mah Bitch said to tell you HI! Welcome to the hood!”
Please. Really. Go here and tell him that.