Tag Archives: conversation

She’ll be a woman, soon. A hairy, hairy woman who can reach anything she wants in the whole wide world.

“Is this for the shower?” Emma asked. I was going through my morning “get ready” routine while she and Devin waited patiently for me to take them to school. “Yep,” I replied. “What’s it do?” she asked. “It takes your … Continue reading

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Dinner With The Past. Oh, and old sex dreams (<— sensationalist titles, oh my!)

“Hey, Smiley,” he said as he folded his 6 foot plus frame into the front seat of my two door convertible. Smiley, he said.  And I did.  And in the same instant I forgot about how I had just spent … Continue reading

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The Hard Part.

“Is being a mom hard?” she asked. “Yes.” I answered without hesitation.  Fear and a desire to understand better washed over her face almost imperceptibly.  She mentioned something about working and the things we do. “It’s not taking care of … Continue reading

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In Which I Educate My Mom On Whoredom And Decide Not To Bitch To The Internet. For Once.

“Alright, Mom.  I have to go.” Our morning conversation was beginning to bleed into my working hours and I could no longer ignore the screams from my inbox. “OK, baby.  I love you.” “I love you, too.  Thanks for listening … Continue reading

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I’m one of those annoying people who quotes movies. Constantly.

I dated a guy in college who was obsessed with movie quotes. He’d send me random text messages with lines from Jim Carrey movies and wait for me to guess the name of the movie.  He’d giggle if I got … Continue reading

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One is silver and the other gold

“Mom, when are we going to change houses again?” Emma doesn’t speak to me for the first half of our morning drive to daycare.  I think it takes her that long to get over being pissed about having to get … Continue reading

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The thong butt story I keep forgetting to tell you

There are two things you need to know to understand what I’m about to tell you: 1) Once in a while, I wear a thong. As in that underwear that is mostly loin cloth in the front and string up … Continue reading

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Reason #346 Why I Would Make An Awesome Reality TV Star:

I pee with the door open. It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am in mid-conversation and I have to go, I feel like it’s rude to shut the door and stop talking to you. So I just go, … Continue reading

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