Day 5 – Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

30 Days of Truth – Something you hope to do in your life

I do not have very many “someday, some way” fantasies.  I don’t have the patience for them.  I go from wouldn’t that be cool to oh, so we’re doing that now at a pace that would suggest I was maybe a little impulsive.

I wanted to move out of Iowa, and so I did.

I wanted to get paid to write, and so I did.

I wanted to travel full time, and so we’re making plans to do that.

Much like a toddler, I want it, I do it.  Sure, there may be some doubt and fear and what the hell am I thinking? moments along the way, but eventually I can’t ignore the fact the things I really, really want.  There are, however, a few things that I want to do in my life that I have not, for whatever reason, begun to want badly enough to make happen yet.

I want to write a book. I have titles and chapters and ideas scribbled across various hard drives and notepads.  I’ve gotten advice and contact names and encouragement.  But still, I have not sat my ass down and committed to the idea yet.  The process still seems too long for me to take the risk of investing time in something that might not pan out.  At this moment, I’m still in the “I want an agent or editor to come and tell me that I should write a book and they will pay me in advance to do so” stage.  I hope someday to get beyond that to the “I want to sit my ass down in this chair and write a damn book, no matter how it ends up” stage.

I want to live in New York City. It is completely impractical, and yet I want it so.  I have not, however, wanted it badly enough to risk being homeless and broke.  Perhaps after a year of being homeless, that idea will seem less scary.

I want to take my husband and kids out of the country. The only time Jared has been out of the United States is to visit the Bahamas on a cruise we took.  I haven’t been to Europe since I was 16, and the last time I crossed a US border I didn’t need my passport to do it.  (Which is why I just had to turn down a weekend at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico because I realized I don’t have an up to date passport! ARGH!)  When we originally discussed traveling for a year, we had planned on heading overseas, but then decided to explore our home country thoroughly first.  I still very much want to watch their faces when they see another country for the first time, but I’m content to put it in the someday pile for a little while longer.

Beyond that, I hope to not have a ton of things gathering dust on a “things I hope to do someday” list.  As I have found myself saying repeatedly over the last few months, I could die. Today.  Tomorrow.  Six months from now.  Sixty years from now.  I do not want to spend my life assuming I have time that I may not.  The important things that I hope for – to love my husband better, hug my children tightly, know my mother and father as people – those are things I need to do today.

Most of the things that are important enough to be hoped for are too important to put off for another day.

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