How To Save More Money Than You Ever Dreamed Possible

Step 1 – Sit down at the end of the month and figure out where every dollar will go in the next month.

Step 2 – Make a list of all of the expenses you can pay for with cash.  Groceries, gas, allowances, all discretionary spending basically.  Do this because you realized in New York City how much less you spend if you’re looking at a stack of bills and know this. is. it.  Apparently knowing a debit card is attached to a real live bank account is not as sobering as looking at a limited amount of money, especially when it’s time to decide if this shirt is really worth $20 to you.

Step 3 – Make an envelope for each type of expense you’ve designated.

For Example:

Food Envelope

Step 4 – Put every dollar you have into one of these envelopes.  This way, you have planned for how you’ll spend your money in the coming weeks instead of going “well, shit, where did that money go?”

Step 5 – Put all envelopes you don’t need at the moment in your safe, because, well – it’s every dollar you have.

Step 6 – Lock safe.  Obviously.

Step 7 – Give one key to your husband and keep one for yourself.

Step 8 – Kiss your husband goodbye for the day.

Step 9 – Attempt to retrieve envelope and money from safe later.

Step 10 – Break off key in lock.

Shit.

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