“So, um, I just wanted to follow up and see if you might actually be interested in RSVPing to the invitation I sent you for the upcoming event at Busch Gardens next week.”
(She was actually much cooler and more professional and tactful than that, but I’d bet you $100 that’s what she was thinking.)
ANYway, apparently I had been invited to a thing at Busch Gardens. I pumped my fists mightily in the air and declared that “YES! Finally! I am being recognized and courted for my work as an awesome TRAVEL BLOGGER!“ I accepted Lauren’s invitation on my behalf of myself and “my child”, and then proceeded to tell said child that she’d be getting to skip school to go “spend a day with Mommy at Busch Gardens!”
When said child was not impressed, I told her that she would also be spending time with Elmo. And did I mention skipping school? Said child conceded that yes, she would, grace me with her presence.
At the same time, not said child – also known as Devin – assured me that he was supremely pissed that he was not getting to skip school. After much negotiating and discussion, we agreed that “Elmo was for babies anyway. Fine. Whatever.”
Blah, blah, blah, Emma and I drove two hours to Tampa on Thursday morning to enjoy the perks of mom being a very important and highly sought after travel blogger.
We pulled up to the back lot of Busch Gardens as we had been instructed, and were met by a blue vested security guard who had been charged with guiding us to our destination.
“Mommy blogger?” he asked.
“Son of a -” but I didn’t finish, because I’m pretty sure that mommy bloggers aren’t supposed to swear in public or in front of their children or at special events or at son of a bitch I am here as a mommy blogger. I bit my tongue, swallowed my pride, and nodded my head. I was directed to my reserved for mommy bloggers parking spot and lead to a big red tent.
Where I promptly forgot about my pride the moment I was presented with the greatest breakfast buffet ever.
I’m pretty sure that this is exactly the kind of exposure that Lauren Hoyt-Williams was hoping for when she invited me to breakfast. Clearly. The world needs to know that Busch Gardens makes fanfreakingtastic eggs.
While Emma and I were enjoying the best breakfast ever, another PR Big Shot got on a mic at the front of the room and started talking about making Busch Gardens more kid friendly and new attractions and did I hear him say something about free?
Ha! Yes! I bet THAT really IS what Lauren Hoyt-Williams was expecting when she invited me! I AM SO PROFESSIONAL.
(Hm, apparently it’s a little more complicated than “all kids get in free”. MOST PROFESSIONAL EVER!)
ANYway, presentation over, time for Sesame Street character greetings. This is what Emma and I have been waiting for. Cookie Monster and Elmo and Big Bird and Zoey and All Their Sesame Street Friends came out to sing and dance and take pictures with the kids. The kids, of course, were thrilled, because what preschooler doesn’t absolutely love Sesame Street?
So. Not. Impressed. I’m all “LOOK! Zoey! Bert! Ernie!” and Emma maintained that “meh. At least they had chocolate milk.” Everyone started singing, and I was very excitedly singing along to C is For Cookie, and Emma was like “hm, well, I guess you like cookies or something?” And I could not BELIEVE that this kid was not more excited. It’s Sesame Street! Live! How can she NOT be –
My children do not watch Sesame Street.
I’m pretty much the worst. mommy. blogger or otherwise. ever.
But for the record? She would have gone ape shit if Dora or Diego had shown up. And she could have said hello and goodbye to them in Spanish.
Ahem. ANYway, after spending most of breakfast being extremely unimpressed, Emma eventually warmed up and decided, “Meh. Ok. Whatever. I guess I can *yawn* take a picture with these people.”
And thus concludes Part 1 Of Britt and Emma’s Skip Day.
(I know, you are on the edge of your seat right now.)