Cool and Uncool.

Things That Are Not Cool:

>> Having both of your children sick at the same time.

>> Waking up in the middle of the night to find one of your children throwing up in your bed.  On your sheets.

>> Having to change the sheets in the middle of the night while one of your children sits on the floor next to a glass bowl.

>> Waking up the next morning to find that one of your children had also threw up on your comforter.  And your pillow.

>> Getting one child well enough to go to school, but still having one kid sick enough to have to stay home.

>> Getting sick yourself, while you have one sick kid at home.

>> Throwing up.

>> Throwing up so hard that you pee your pants.

>> Admitting that “throwing up” could easily be replaced with “laughing”, “sneezing”, “coughing”, “jumping”.

>> Realizing that you’re not even 30, and you’re making the same jokes about peeing your pants as your 49 year old mother.

>> Neither of you are actually joking.

>> Thinking of your mom peeing her pants makes you exceptionally sad that you don’t have your mom when you’re sick and covered in your own vomit and pee.

Things That Are Cool:

>> Having your husband voluntarily leave work early because both kids are sick – which marks the first time in 10 years that he’s ever left work because someone at home was sick.

>> Having your husband leave work early again when you call him crying because you are siiiiiiick and it huuuuurts and you peeeeeeeed and you want your mommmmmeeeeeee.

>> Having your husband finally just decide to not even bother going into work because clearly you are useless and both kids are now home because Veteran’s Day was in the middle of the damn week.

>> Waking up after being sick forever to find that, while your husband was bringing you soup and waking you up to make you take sips of Diet 7Up from a straw and rubbing your back and shoving little white pills down your throat because the flu is no good reason to skip your antidepressants, woman!, he also managed to clean the house and do all the laundry.

>> Including those sheets.  And the comforter.  And your pillow.

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