Monthly Archives: August 2009

Apocalypse

This past week has, without a doubt, been the single worst week of my life. Up to this point. Because I am not so stupid as to tempt the gods. It has been worse than the week my mother and … Continue reading

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She’ll be a woman, soon. A hairy, hairy woman who can reach anything she wants in the whole wide world.

“Is this for the shower?” Emma asked. I was going through my morning “get ready” routine while she and Devin waited patiently for me to take them to school. “Yep,” I replied. “What’s it do?” she asked. “It takes your … Continue reading

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You’ll pretty much just scratch your head and say “WTF? Did she buy a sailboat?” and I’ll say “no, but yes, exactly.”

I’m struggling with reality. Not in the sense that I’m hallucinating or thinking I’m Marie Antoinette or that my cat is telling me to build it so that they will come.  I’m not hearing voices, however much I’ll admit to … Continue reading

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Dinner With The Past. Oh, and old sex dreams (<— sensationalist titles, oh my!)

“Hey, Smiley,” he said as he folded his 6 foot plus frame into the front seat of my two door convertible. Smiley, he said.  And I did.  And in the same instant I forgot about how I had just spent … Continue reading

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Why you cannot move in with your grandparents, Son.

Dear Devin, You told me over dinner that Grandma has taken you to Chuck E. Cheese like a million times. You lamented the fact that I have never taken you to Chuck E. Cheese’s since we’ve lived in Florida. “Yes, … Continue reading

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7 Things I Learned This Weekend That Have Nothing To Do With Self Esteem

Because my God I am tired of looking at that other post. 1.  The words “another round” are from Satan himself. 2.  Especially when they are said by someone else and yet, somehow, include you. 3.  Especially if you do … Continue reading

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Ugly.

I try not to think about what I look like. Instead, I tend to concentrate on how I feel.  When I’m laughing or talking or twirling, I feel happy.  I feel alive.  I feel brightly colored and twinkling and like … Continue reading

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Two Years.

  I actually missed the anniversary date. That in itself is a sign of progress, I think. August 10th, two days ago, marked two years since we moved to Florida. Last year, I marked this date with a resignation and … Continue reading

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Who Put Me In Charge Of These Children?

The first night we got home, I forgot to feed my kids dinner. I haven’t cooked a meal in over a month.  Jared and I ate out or ate string cheese and beer or, in most cases, just didn’t eat … Continue reading

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If I Say “The Weekend: A Photo Essay” It Sounds More Interesting.

Friday night, there was this: And this is Heather drinking absinthe in a fancy cafe in Atlanta. And because she did it, I figured I would do it.  But do it cooler.  So I ordered an Absinthe Frappé. Because, I … Continue reading

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