The Wedding Incident

Somewhere there is a newlywed couple enjoying their honeymoon and trying to forget about the obnoxious woman who interrupted their wedding.

That woman is me.

I spent last weekend sharing a hotelroom with Hilly and Becky at the Doubletree hotel in Lexington, Kentucky.  The hotel was beautiful and featured an indoor courtyard with a lovely fountain just inside the front doors.  It was set up like an indoor atrium with the corridors to each hotel room risiing up on all four sides of the courtyard/lobby.

Saturday night as we walked out of our rooms to head over to the ConFab party, we noticed a wedding was taking place downstairs in the courtyard.  Naturally, we made an effort to be especially quiet as we headed down the hall to the elevator.

As I walked down the hall and watched the wedding over the railing, I noticed that the bride was wiping away tears.

How sweet, I thought.

We gathered into the elevator and prepared for the trip down to the main lobby.  There were 7 us sandwiched into the elevator – all bloggers headed for a night of partying.

“Did you see the wedding?” someone asked.

“Yeah,” someone else answered.

“Seems like a strange place for a wedding,” someone commented.

“It’s pretty,” someone else offered.

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “But… well… it just seems like you’re just asking for problems.  I mean, I can’t imagine having my ceremony right in a hotel lobby like that.  Can you imagine someone running through the front doors and before they notice what’s going making a bunch of noise and stuff?”

“No kidding,” someone nodded.

“God, that would be awful,” I went on.  ” Just imagine some family walking in with a loud ass kid screaming ‘MOMMMMM! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOOOM!”

“Oh my God,” the entire elevator seemed to whisper in unison and horror.

“I’m just saying – “


And they all proceeded to file out of the open elevator doors.  Directly into the lobby.  Where the wedding was being held.

I stood in the now empty elevator and the silence around me echoed.  The perfect imitation I had just down of a loud and obnoxious child rang in my ears – in much the same way, I imagine, it had just rang out through the open elevator doors.  Into the lobby.  Where the wedding was being held.

I scurried out of the elevator as quickly as I could and headed towards the front doors.  I nearly ran into the hotel employee who was standing between me and the wedding party, lips pursed, one finger held up to her mouth to indicate that we needed to shush.

And then I prayed really hard that I would die.

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