I used to be funny.
Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you. I was funny. I may have been crude and abrasive, but damn it, I was funny.
I hate coming to this blog right now because the last post is always “OH! HI! Let me tell you about my health!” and I think “you know, you should really balance that out with something lighthearted and funny”. And then I get stuck and think “you know, a nap would be awesome right now.”
It’s not that I’m sleeping all the time. I’m not. I’m working my full time job and updating Buy-Her every day and writing at UpTake and Work It, Mom! and here and there I’m even writing a page or two in that book I’ve been staring at for months. But when I’m done with all that there are no creative juices left for me to be funny here.
And so instead of trying to be funny, I lay down on my couch and watch yet another episode (or 5) of Gilmore Girls and I enjoy watching other people be funny.
And really, that’s almost getting to be a sick obsession. I woke up in the middle of the night last night frantically worried about whether or not my daughter would get into Harvard and wondering if she will be able to make the right choice between Dean and Jess and then I looked at the clock and realized it was 3:00 in the morning and my daughter is 4 and not named Rory and not, by the way, trying to get into Harvard right now. She may or may not be trying to decide between two boys named Dean or Jess. Apparently I am now dreaming about Season 3 of Gilmore Girls.
Worse than dreaming about Gilmore Girls is the fact that I immediately ran to my iPhone and sent myself an email to remind myself about this 3:00am dream in the hopes that “Ha! Yes! Tomorrow I will have something funny to write!”
And then I woke up this morning and realized – meh. Not that funny.
It occurs to me that when one is trying to manage their stress levels in an effort to fight off fatigue, it might not be wise to beat one’s self about their lack of funny.
But man, I don’t want to be that girl.
I don’t want to be the one who always has something sad and depressing to talk about. I don’t want my existence to be wrapped up in how much I am or am not sleeping this week. I don’t want to keep a detailed record of the things that are scaring the shit out of me right now – the list of regrets I’m building up in my head, the myriad of things that are happening to those around me that are not fair and not right. I can’t stand the thought of being that person who always has something to whine about.
Especially because I used to be funny.
In other news, Avitable is constantly riding my ass about the fact that I do not promote our radio show, “Clearly, You’re Retarded”, enough. He’s got it in his head that we could be the next Mr. and Mrs. Howard Stern if only I would take this shit more seriously.
I, on the other hand, think he should just be honored that I donate an hour of my oh so busy life to his little podcast every week. I mean, clearly I am a very busy woman what with having 153 episodes of Gilmore Girls that need to be watched.
But I’m feeling generous today. So.
Every Wednesday at 9PM EST, Avitable and I record a podcast live on TalkShoe. Tonight (that’s May 27th) at 9PM EST we are going to be talking about whether or not the military is “defending the American way” or helping to advance an imperialist agenda.
I can pretty much guarantee that someone will be offended and someone will reach octaves only heard by dogs.
Click here to listen to the show live. If you would like to listen tonight, I recommend you go to the show page early and download the chat client and set up a reminder for the show. If you can’t listen live, you can download this show and earlier shows from that same page. As usual, we will be taking callers at 9:30pm EST so you’ll have a chance to weigh in yourself.
And now Adam can back the fuck off me for at least another 7 days.
My job here is done.