My son tried to kill me this morning.

“Mom, is it going to be hot today?”

“It’s April in Florida.  Yes, son, it’s going to be hot today.”

He stood there looking at me, as if he hadn’t comprehended my response.

Devin, go get dressed,” I prodded.  It was 6 in the morning and far too early for the blank stare.

“Umm… I don’t have any shorts.”

Devin, you have a whole drawer full of shorts.  Go get dressed.”

“I don’t!  I have no shorts!  They’re all dirty!  I’m going to be hot!”

I sighed the big heavy sigh of a woman who is too tired to argue and resigned to just doing it her damn self.  I zipped up Emma’s lunchbox that I’d been packing and marched to his room.  I swung open the door and hollered over my shoulder as I stormed in to find the drawer full of shorts I knew were clean.

Devin, I don’t know where you are looking for shorts but you might want to – WHAT THE HEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!”

My charge ended mid stride as something grabbed at my ankles.  I felt the top half of my body hurtling forward towards the ground as my mind reeled, trying to figure out what was happening to me.  I caught my balance with my face inches from the carpet.

I took a second to steady myself and scanned the floor around me for what I was sure was an errant toy that had been left in the doorway.

And then I saw it.

A gray cord bearing a striking resemblence to the charger cord for Devin’s Nintendo DS was running across the entry into his room, about  6 inches off the ground.  One end had been tied to the foot of his dresser on one wall, the other secured with a series of knots to the shelving unit on the other wall.

“DEVIN!!!!” I roared.  Although I didn’t have to.  He was already in the doorway watching me.  Grinning.

Devin!  What.  Is.  THIS?”  I pointed at the handmade booby trap.

“IT’S APRIL FOOL’S!!!” he beamed.

Oh.  Right.  It’s April fucking fool’s Day.


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