Monthly Archives: July 2008

Not Fine.

I talked to my grandmother Wednesday. She told me that Emma had cried for me at bedtime. And no one called. “Everything is fine now,” my grandma assured me. “She’s fine.” Except, she is not. My grandma told me she … Continue reading

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It’s Hard Out Here For A Prude.*

*OR: The post that makes my step mom wish she hadn’t given this blog URL to everyone in my dad’s office. Heh. (Hi, Tina! Sorry, Dad!) You people are a bunch of freaks. Seriously. Sometimes I swear I am the … Continue reading

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I am a tool. Seriously.

There are two things you must know for you to full appreciate what I am about to relay to you: 1. I drive a red mustang convertible. 2. I am absolutely certain I look pretty damn hot in that red … Continue reading

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Saying Goodbye

When he first suggested it back in March, I told him he was out of his mind. “There’s no fucking way my kids are going to be gone for 6 weeks, Jared. Do you have any idea how long 6 … Continue reading

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If you didn’t have kids…

Let’s say, hypothetically, that you were about to find yourself without children. For 3 weeks. And let’s say, hypothetically, that this was the first time you have been without your children for more than a couple of days. And let’s … Continue reading

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You were right, Johnny.

I used to think that I could change the world. I believed in the power of words to change the way people think. I believed that compassion and persistence could alter people’s perceptions. I believed in a society that wanted … Continue reading

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Next they’ll be shipping me off to charm school

At dinner last night… “Devin, what did you do at daycare today?” (Man, I am an awesome mother.) “Went skating. Remember?” *blank stare* (Still! Awesome mother!) “Remember mom? We left my skates at home on accident?” “We didn’t leave anything … Continue reading

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So… we’re going to talk about abortion

I wonder how many people won’t click through to read this post once they see the title in their feed reader. I wonder how many people will read it out of morbid curiosity, but refuse to comment because “that’s just … Continue reading

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Nasty Internet Rumors

There is a nasty rumor going around the Internet that I cannot sing. Someone even had the nerve to say that I was not a karaoke star. Obviously, they have not heard me at my finest. Which is to say… … Continue reading

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Alcohol ages you

They say that age is just a number. They say that you are only as old as you feel. I say, bullshit. How old you are is how long it takes you to recover from a hangover. And I am … Continue reading

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