Sundays are for Legalized Prostitution

I’ve been thinking about Sundays lately.

You see, normally I go to Church on Sundays. Where “normally” equals “if you had asked me 10 months ago what I do on Sundays”. When I moved to Florida, one of the first things I did was seek out a Catholic Church close to my home and start investigating the CCD programs, etc. My faith has always been a very important aspect of my life and it was vitally important that I maintain that here.

Until my husband started his new job.

Now my Sundays are spent begging God to deliver me from this fresh hell that is Way Too Much Quality Alone Time With My Children. Not that I don’t love them. Clearly.

But Sundays have ceased to be a day of refuge and instead become a bit of a pain in the ass.

I decided that I needed to turn this ship around. Liven Sundays up. Shake things up. In short, if I cannot use this day to save my soul, I might as well sell the hell out of it.

And so was born the idea for Sunday: The Day On Which I Experiment With New Ways To Exploit Your Love And Affection For Money.

I began this adventure by looking for companies that would pay me money for sitting on my ass. Next, I sent an email out to everyone I could think of and announced that “my favorably unbiased opinion is FOR SALE!” My grandmother thanked me and politely asked that I take her off my mailing list. Grandma is cheap.

But THEN! Just as I was about to GIVE UP! I received word that my invaluable knowledge was needed for some company that makes labels!

I did a quick search of my archives and discovered that I am indeed a bit of an aficionado on labels. In fact, in the last two years I have written an entire SIX POSTS THAT IN SOME VAGUE AND AMBIGUOUS WAY RELATE TO LABELS. That pretty much makes me an expert.

I told the Label People that I would peruse their site and send back a very complex and professional review, along with sage advice and business wisdom, in exchange for copious amounts of cash. They told me they’d consider buying me lunch. I agreed.

And then I went to their site and realized that I have absolutely no clue what in the hell I would ever need labels like this for. And also? Holy crap ton of stuff all over the site. And not cool stuff like a Flickr Badge where people can stalk you all day. Oh no. Just stuff stuff like product specs and order info and company missions and blah blah where are the pictures blah yada blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

This site review business stinks.

Maybe next week I’ll ask if Prince would like to pay me to review his “site”.

Where “site” equals “his hot hot self”.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *