You know that meme where you’re supposed to list [insert random # here] things about yourself that are “random” or “quirky”?
That meme that everyone’s done a million times and every single time you see it you want to stab yourself in the eyeballs and say I READ YOUR BLOG EVERY FUCKING DAY! GOOD LUCK COMING UP WITH SHIT I DON’T ALREADY KNOW!
You know. That one.
Sodapop has asked that I do it for you. In other words, blame her.
Internets, I give you SIX RANDOM QUIRKY THINGS ABOUT ME!
It seems that in my quest to keep it real, I may have already told you a hell of a lot of weird random shit about me. Did I mention I pee with the – oh. Yep.
Internets! I give you!
SIX RANDOM AND NOT AT ALL QUIRKY THINGS ABOUT ME THAT PROVE THAT I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL.
1. I watch Prime Time Network TV. Sitcoms, dramas, reality TV. All of it. I can tell you who won America’s Next Top Model, who is sleeping with who this season on Grey’s Anatomy, and exactly what is so funny about According To Jim.
I am middle America.
2. My boobs are totally and completely average. I don’t have to worry about men staring at my chest. I don’t make jokes about how difficult it is to run. And no one has ever tried to get me to take my shirt off in public.
They’re just boobs. Seriously.
3. I wear whatever underwear is clean. Sometimes that means they are lacy and pretty. Sometimes that means they are strappy and sexy. And sometimes that means they are cotton bikini briefs with an over stretched elastic waist band.
I am way past the point in my life where anyone gives a crap about my “panties”.
4. I read my kids a bedtime story if there’s time. Some nights we read books on the couch for a half an hour before bed. Some nights we race through one book, skipping pages with too many words. Some nights we skip the books all together and just sing “You Are My Sunshine” twice just before we shut off the light. And some nights you can hear me holler “I mean it! Go. to bed!”
If anyone ever makes a movie about me, I hope to God it’s not about my parenting.
5. I double dip. If you don’t know what that means, you probably do too. If you know what that means and you do it anyway – good for you! And if you’re one of those people who freaks the fuck out if someone takes a bite out of a chip and then redips in the community container…
Chill. Seriously. I’m not putting cooties in your fucking french onion dip.
6. I have a point and click camera that comes with no extra lenses and a very skinny owner’s manual. The pictures I take are “meh”. The pictures you take with those fancy schmancy Look How Cool I Am With My F-Stop and ISOP Adjuster Button Cameras – are admittedly awesome.
And the day I become a professional photographer is the day I can see my husband agreeing to spend the $500+ it takes to get one.
What’s totally normal and average about you?