First, I want to thank you for showing up here. No really. I love that about you.
Next, let me say… you are missing out. Truly. I’ve been playing with my NEW FANCY SCHMANCY TRACKING SOFTWARE for about 18.75 hours now – so I know what you’re missing on this site. (I also know that someone got here searching for How To Make Low Carb Bread. Heh. Sorry about that.)
Let’s take a walk…
- First we have the new Daily Photo section. It looks like this:
This is where you can see all of my awesome mediocre photography Photoshopping skills on display. And you don’t want to miss that, do you?
- Next we have the new iLife section. It’s no coincidence that this is right under the “Stalker” section. See it?
This is where my most recent iPhone picture will appear. You don’t have to do anything but look at it, and bask in the knowledge that it’s just like you are right here with me always.
- If you are new to the site, you should really take advantage of the next FANCY SCHMANCY feature. Which is FANCY SCHMANCILY TITLED “Past Indiscretions”. See – right – here:
This will allow you to get in on all of our INSIDE JOKES. I know, I’m generous.
Of course, if you’re not new to the site, you might want to skip past that last one. Or not. Whatever.
The other new additions to the site are THE ADS!!! (OMG I hate ads! It’s your site! I love ads! I would never! OMG! Blah Blah Blah – now we can say we had THAT talk, m’kay?)
Now, it would be totally and completely unethical for me to tell you to click on the ads. And I am nothing if not TOTALLY IN COMPLIANCE WITH ANY AND ALL TERMS OF AGREEMENTS. Totally. And completely.
And I would never, EVER dream of trying to guilt trip you into clicking on a few ads here and there by telling you something silly like I AM USING THE AD REVENUE TO FUND MY TRIP TO NEW YORK CITY or JUST ONE CLICK A DAY! NO BIGGIE! NO TIME!
Because that would be both unethical and completely and totally tacky. And I am nothing if not the total and complete OPPOSITE OF TACKY. Clearly.
But I would be doing you a grave disservice if I did not educate you and lo, share with you my vast bounty of knowledge on these ad-thingie-mah-hoos. It is only with your best interests in mind that I seek to educate you on the different types of ads found here.
- The BlogHer Ads
These ads are part of the BlogHer Ads Network. I like them because I get paid just because they are there. YOU don’t have to do anything and I don’t have to do anything. It’s just like FREE MONEY. Except less.
- The Google AdSense Ads
These ads are meh. The good news is that I get paid every time someone clicks. EVEN IF THEY DON’T BUY ANYTHING. The bad news is, I don’t get anything for having to just look at them. So, boo for that. But, let’s say, in theory, YAY FOR CLICKING!
- The Chitika Ads
These ads are also Meh. Because I get paid every time someone JUST CLICKS. But they are slightly cooler than Google because doesn’t the name totally remind you of a Chiquita Banana??
- And last and totally least are the Amazon Ads.
The Amazon ads kind of suck. Because I only get paid if you click on the link and BUY SOMETHING FROM AMAZON. And why would you bother to CLICK HERE IF YOU WERE SHOPPING AMAZON ANYWAY, right?But I keep the ad on my site for one reason.Whenever I am here, it pimps me this:
And that is good enough for me.
And thus concludes our tour of the TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY ETHICAL house of Miss Britt.