I’m running out of new and creative ways to say “Welcome to yet another addition of 100 Things About Me!”
And since this is only Part 4 of a 10 Part series, I see much FUBARedness in my future.
Look at that. We’re already three sentences in. Hollah!
Ahem. (Sorry about that. Never happen again. I promise.)
Today we are doing a complete 180 and focusing on things that I love. Now let me tell you right away – I’m not listing my husband or my kids blah blah duh duh yada yada obvious. I am not a bad woman with fucked up priorities – don’t fucking email me. Instead, let’s take a look at a few more interesting other things that make me go pitter patter in my heart, shall we?
100 Things About Miss Britt: 10 Things I Love
- I love my iPhone. Did you know I have an iPhone? Because I do. I totally do. And I love it to bits and bits because it is awesome. If this is what it’s like to have a Mac, I get it. (And I owe a few “Mac Obsessed Fucktards” an apology. Heh.)
- I love that Prince needs a hip replacement. Does that mean he is old? Possibly too old for someone my age to lust after in such an impure way? No. Oh, no. What that means is that it will be easier for me to catch his sexy ass.
- I love Dirty Dancing. You might like that movie. But I assure you, no one loves that movie like I do. Sure, you know “nobody puts baby in a corner”. But do you tell your husband on a daily basis that you “did it for nothing! I hurt my family… you lost your job anyway… I did it for nothing!”? And then continue to chastise yourself because “no! Not for nothing, Baby! No one’s ever done anything like that for me.”? Hmmm? Do you? I think not.
- I love being left the fuck alone. Not always. Usually I’m a pretty social person. But once in a while, when the fates blow my way and by some fluke of nature I am left all by myself in my house… for a few peaceful hours… I love that.
- I love being right. Which is probably why I’m generally such a happy person. Because I’m pretty much always right. (Oh I’m kidding! (Except you know I’m totally not (of course I am! (not.))))
- I love when I find a book that makes me neglect everything else. My current addiction is Harry Potter. (And I owe a few “freaking morons who are obsessed with a kid’s book” an apology. Heh.) I picked up the first book from the series my son got for Christmas in an effort to give us something to talk about. And while we have had much fun discussing Muggles and the future of the Ministry, I have to admit I’m well into the fifth book simply because I can’t put it down. I love when that happens.
- I love smoking a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section and running naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. OK, I stole that. And I’m totally not into green Jell-O. But I am really passionate about ensuring that if I ever get the urge to do that, I can. Few things get me as hot as civil liberties.
- I love the beach. I love the way the sound of the waves makes me feel big, while the endless stretch of the horizon makes me feel small. I love how young I feel when I squish my toes into the sand. I love how simple life is when I’m teaching my kids how to jump with the tides. It’s the only place in nature where I’m really alive and at ease, all at the same time.
- I love reaching people that others avoid. Whether it’s the gruff old man that most people fear, the quiet person at the office that your co-workers ignore, or the abrasively loud class clown that most people simply laugh at as they pass by. Those are the people that interest me most – the ones that have to be drawn out or stood up to. I love being able to see new sides of someone.
- I love making money. More specifically, I love coming up with new and creative ways to make money. Not because I’m a superficial whore (that’s why I wear make up and cute shoes), but because the challenge is a rush for me. It’s not the money – it’s the win. Business is like a life sized board game. I love marketing and advertising and the sense of satisfaction I get when something works. My brain is wired differently than most people. I look at the world and tilt my head and wonder… how can that be turned into a profit stream?
And so ends a random sampling of things that I love.
Next week we’ll do… uh… er… I have no idea. Any suggestions?
See you tomorrow for another addition of How Much Free Shit Can We Suck Out Of Miss Britt?!