Monthly Archives: November 2007

every other post in my head is really long

Dear Head of Bath and Body Works Email Marketing, Quit fucking with me. I do not want your super soft socks. I do not want your $12 candles. I do not want your free shipping or new temptations shower gel … Continue reading

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Holy Scared Crapless

I’ve joined a dating site. I mean, you know, kind of. Technically, it’s a “social networking” site called Meetup.com. It’s organized by location and interests, and now that I live in a place where there are people, there are actually … Continue reading

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Apparently The Dark Side DOES Have Cookies

It seems Hell has come to Orlando. Or at least, that was my first thought when I started hearing all the “buzz” about a new IKEA opening up. I hate IKEA. Hate. Loathe. The mere mention of the place causes … Continue reading

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It’s… um… better… kinda… sorta…

OK, fine! We’ll do a hair update. For those of you who missed the Hate Crime Against Blondes – of which I was a victim, a quick review. (Although really, unnecessary. I think everyone had something to say about the … Continue reading

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Girl Pride

I seldom miss an opportunity to pass on sexism and bigotry to my children. How else are they supposed to learn how to quickly stereotype people if they are not taught at an early age? Take for example, the other … Continue reading

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Mystique

God I hope I spelled that right. Remember the other day when I casually made mention of a post including fat rolls? The thing is, I was serious. Wait, wait, hear me out. See, I have a post written – … Continue reading

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Channeling Brit-Brit and Jessica Simpson. And not in a good way.

A few days ago I decided it was time for a change. My dishwater roots were starting to take over my brassy brilliantly blonde ends, and I was definitely due for a cut. I had been dragging my feet since … Continue reading

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Fuck you. Yes, you.

I have fifty fucking ideas for posts rattling around in my head. One of them involves pictures of my talking fat rolls. I wonder if that’s really a good idea. Unfortunately, I have PMS. Which means I can’t fucking concentrate … Continue reading

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Relentless

Someone told me once that they didn’t think children really had individual personalities. They were apparently under the impression that personalities came much later with age and that, for the most part, kids are kids. Oh shit, I wish. It … Continue reading

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Pee, Smoke, And Get Yourself A Refill… this is going to take a while

Soooo… I am an ignorant ass. And worse? I have been ignorant to my ignorance. And worse still? I have been passing on my ignorance in the form of parental wisdom! And I’m not talking about the little Piggy who … Continue reading

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