How Miss Britt Makes Guacamole: A Photo Essay

Step 1: Buy two avocados – despite the fact that someone has them falling into his house for free on a daily basis.

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Step 2: Peel and Chop Avocado

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Step 3: Realize that you are not going to smash this by hand, no matter what the recipe says

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Wonder why food processor/blender is not processing, nor blending…

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Heh.

Smash avocado and put in bowl.  As soon as you figure out how to get that attachment off again.

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Step… uh… Next: Chop Garlic Clove (or is it, Clove of Garlic?)

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Remember “chopping” is for pussies. (and silently kind of wish you’d paid more attention to Top Chef.)

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Chop One Onion

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Realize your camera is dead.  Damn batteries.  How can I be expected to cook in this environment?

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Decide it is totally acceptable to make up lost time by processing onions instead of “chopping”.

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Chop one tomato

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Oh come on, you know where this is going…

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Add pureed shit remaining ingredients to other pureed shit avocado mixture.

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Add Salt

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– to taste

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Really wish they would have talked more about guacamole on Top Chef.

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Add Lime.  With MAH BARE HANDS!!! Rawr

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Think about tasting again.  Remember I rarely eat Guac and have no idea what it’s “supposed” to taste like.  Shit.

Serve.

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Wish your family looked more excited.

Sink a little when your son announces he “doesn’t like this green stuff.”

Perk up when the two year old cheers “esh goood mom, esh goood!”

Realize two year old is eating strips of tortilla as she cheers and has not actually touched said “green stuff”.

Anyone want a jar of Guacamole?

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