Thank God For Girlfriends


Miss Britt:  Hello?

A: Oh. My. GAWD I am going to kill someone.

MB: Oh yeah?  What’s wrong honey?

A: Well! *heavy sigh* Let me ask you – if YOU were going to leave the house for eight freaking hours would it OCCUR to you to maybe CALL someone and let them know you’re not dead?

MB: Um, presumably, yes…

A: Yeah!  You’d THINK?!  But nooooooo.  Apparently SOME people can leave the house at noon and not even BOTHER to pick up the phone.

MB: I’m sorry honey, I…

A: I’ve been sitting alone in this house ALL FUCKING DAY!  I haven’t left, I haven’t done anything, I haven’t got to just run around and do whatever I want all day.

MB: Ohhhh, I’m sorry babe, are you lonely?

A: No I’m not LONELY!  I just think it’s RUDE!

MB: Oh, I, yeah I can –

A: And! AND! There is freaking laundry to be done and shit all over this fucking house and the housecleaner is coming tomorrow.  Since when is it MY job to clean up after everyone?!

MB: I know, I –

A: I’ll tell you THIS, I’ll be picking up MY stuff off the counter – and that’s freaking IT!  And the laundry that is sitting in the dryer that’s not even MINE?  Yeah, that can get dumped on the bed.  And if someone doesn’t want to lay in a pile of clothes than I guess someone will fold their own damn clothes when they decide to mosey their sweet ass HOME!

MB: Yeah, that’ll teach –

A: And! You know what?!?  I haven’t done shit all weekend LONG!  I am so sick of being in this house, all by myself, expected to just take care of all this, and not so much as a PHONE CALL!


MB: Awww babe, I know.  I’m sorry.  Being a woman sucks sometimes.

A: yes. it. does!

MB: Maybe you need some sleep.  You sound tired… or.. hormonal… are you

A: I don’t know, maybe I’m tired.  But that doesn’t matter.  I have VALID reasons to be upset here, right?!

MB: yes, yes, of COURSE you do.  Is that your phone ringing?

A: yeah… oh LOOK… someone decided it might be a good time to finally call home

MB: Well, good.  Go talk to your wife.  Be nice.

A: Ok, I’ll see you at work in the morning?

MB: Yep.  Night Adam.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *