I finally made the time to get a pedicure Monday. A much needed, first of the season, way past due pedicure. And the only place to get a decent pedicure out here in BFE is from the little Korean women. Technically, you pay the angry Korean man who writes down your name, hands you off to one of the little worker bees, and goes back to sitting on his ass and “watching over” the place like some kind of villain in a slave trading movie.
But I digress.
I’m sitting in my massage chair (which is the absolute best part of the $20 pedicure) waiting my turn (because they never tell you there will be a wait, they simply sit you down, stick your feet in water, and by the time you notice there’s only one person working and four of you sitting with feet in water… well, your feet are in water). I’m looking around the room nervously, biding my time and wishing for once there was some chatty English speaking women in there. Just once I’d like to get the same kind of conversation in a nail salon that I get in my hair salon.
ANYway, I’m looking around – la tee da – and I notice that the woman sitting on the little pedicurist (oh fuck me I don’t know what they’re called, ok?) stool is wearing a dress. And she’s sitting directly in front of us, straddling her little stool.
Um, okay. Odd. It didn’t appear to be a long dress and she certainly wasn’t going out of her way to be discreet. I’m sitting there thinking that maybe she’s so used to doing it she can do this in just about anything and be comfortable and casual and I am obviously just being very silly and American or something.
And oh my God I think I just saw a flash of flesh.
Was it? Did I just see flesh up there? Is it? Oh my God is that old Korean Woman Vagina!!??
Look away, Britt, look away. Just… focus on the art. And the silk flowers. And the, uh – well SHIT, is this woman wearing underwear or not?!
It was driving me absolutely crazy. I looked back a few times, trying to see if I could casually catch another glimpse. And it shouldn’t have been difficult, what with all the spreading and straddling and flashing. And…
Oh my God Britt you are trying to look up this woman’s dress!!!
I suddenly became aware of the thoughts racing through my head and the planning and the uncomfortable crook in my neck from trying to “look natural”. And I’m almost certain I blushed, right then and there. I mean really, how low have I come in my life when I am trying to sneak a peak up a poor old woman’s dress?!
I feel so dirty. And pervy. And… do they make rehab facilities for pervy 20 something year old women?
I should ask Avi. If anyone would know, it would be him.
(and, by the way, white, with little bows, definitely underwear – in case you were wondering, I’ll save you a seat at the next meeting)