Yes, Virginia, there is a God

Disclaimer: this post is not meant to be a discussion about whether there is, or is not a God. Nor is it a debate on whether you – or anyone – should or should not be a Christian.

And, this post isn’t EXACTLY about the Virginia Tech shootings. Because honestly? We all know there isn’t anything more that needs to be said.

This post is, however, about some stupid ass shit that should NOT have been said. And I don’t have a quote to link to, or even the exact words that piss me off. So, bear with me.

Earlier this week my husband was listening to a talk radio show. And, of course, 99.9% of the discussion was about the Virginia Tech shootings. It’s a call in show – which guarantees you’re going to get a lot of absolute bullshit mixed in with a few gems. And this woman calls in to give her “take” on things. Which was, basically, that this tragedy was obviously a sign that God was pissed.

Yep. That’s right. The shootings at Virginia Tech are the act of a pissed off God because we humans keep fucking everything up. Taking prayer out of schools. Letting all those homos run around and get married. Shit, do you know some places in the south even let darkies sit next to good clean white people?*

*I may be paraphrasing here. But I’m pretty sure I’m getting her point across.

Fuck. That right there is why people hate Christians. Seriously. What in the HELL are people like that THINKING??? Usually these are the same people running around trying desperately to “evangelize” and save everyone they know. Does common sense not tell them that people are not going to be falling all over themselves to get closer to a pissed off God who zaps people when they are bad? I mean seriously people – Marketing 101 here.

But that’s not what pissed me off so badly. What pisses me off is women like this hijacking my religion and getting it terribly, terribly wrong.

#1 – If you profess to be a Christian, than you believe that God is not running around punishing people. There is nothing – NOTHING – that we could do that would be so bad to warrant torture and punishment. And do you know WHY? Come on.. Christians… stand up… raise your hands…

JESUS, people! No. Really. That’s the answer.

The whole POINT of Christianity is the idea that people kept fucking up the Old Covenant and so Jesus came to redeem us – once and for all. Once. And. For ALL, people. Not up to a certain point. Not for everyone except the gays and the whores and the Yankees and the liberals. Not until we got too bad for our own good. You cannot, by definition, be a Christian AND believe that God swoops down and punishes us every once in a while when we get out of hand.

So, there’s that.

And #2 – as people, we think death is bad. I mean, duh. We fear it. We try to avoid it. We hate the impact that it leaves on our lives. That’s normal.

But, logically speaking here, do you really think that God thinks that death is the worst thing that can happen to someone?

Again, as Christians, where do we say people go when they die? Anyone? Anyone? Yes, Johnny, the six year old in the back…. what’s that?

HEAVEN. Exactly. Freaking DUH.

Oh, and Johnny, before you sit back down, who lives in Heaven? Yes, yes, grandma… and your kitty, and grandpa and… whose that? Oh yes, that’s right. JESUS. And GOD. (and, bonus points if you’re Catholic… Mary!!)

Now, come on. Let’s keep our thinking caps on for a minute. If GOD thinks Heaven is, ya know, an OK place to hang His hat for the next Eternity Or So Years… does it make sense that he would see it as the ultimate punishment for being very bad boys and girls? Of course not.

And, yeah, death causes us suffering here. Lots, and lots, and lots of suffering. It’s horrific and sad and can leave an emptiness and aching inside those of us who are left like nothing else. But as Christians, we’re supposed to view death as the doorway to something more. Nay, more than something “more”. It’s supposed to be The Ultimate. The Cherry on the top of the Life Sundae. And while we are ALWAYS trying to balance the sadness with the hope, and while that is constantly a struggle for most of us… we’re certainly not supposed to be looking at death as the ultimate Fuck You.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT at ALL saying that one human being taking another human being’s life is anything short of abominable. I mean, Heaven is supposed to be great and all but I think the job of Gatekeeper and Valet are already taken, thank you very much. In fact, I do recall something about Thou Shalt Not Go Around Killing Other People.

What I AM saying is that when something like that happens, it is absolutely ludicrous to use it as a tool to start brow beating people into fearful submission.

And, so, OK, people have a right to be ludicrous. And stupid. And, even, fucking ignorant. And usually that’s not enough to make it to my blog.

But when you start hijacking my faith? When you start running off at the mouth in such a way that you give Christians everywhere a bad name? When you start spouting such blasphemous shit that you make people run like… well… hell from the Church and the Bible and even God Himself?

Well that, bitch, is simply unacceptable.

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