Oh. My. God.

This is a public service announcement for all of you ladies out there who don’t drink very often, who drink liquor when you do, and who think that you are fun when you drink.

For all of you girls who think that you are cute when you’re severely intoxicated.

And flirty.

And sexy.

And “oh my GAWD I am not a sloppy drunk and I HATE girls who get like that”.

Do. Not. Drink.  Ever again.  In life.

Believe me when I tell you that you are not flirty or cute or funny.

Believe me when I tell you that there is a very good possibility that you turn into the most annoying person on the face of the planet.

And your flirty?  Kinda looks more like a ho.  A dirty, skanky, tells all her business ho.

And your funny?  Open?  Fun-lovingness?  Kinda looks more like a wanna-be thug with a trucker’s mouth.

Believe me when I tell you, woman, that the repercussions are not worth the UV Vodka.  Not even in Blue Raspberry.  Nor delicious Red Cherry.  What you’re saving in carbs you will lose in dignity, I promise you.

Please, take heed of my warnings.  Because if you don’t… if you choose to be headstrong and foolish…

Do NOT feel compelled to share your humiliation with The Internet.  Seriously.  Some things should be kept private.  Some images and facades are best left in tact.

Or, at the very least, for registered users.

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