Two helpings of smug

Look what I did!  Look what I did!!

If you have no clue what I’m talking about – I made myself a brand new template.  If you can’t see it, use the “theme switcher” and check out Just Blonde.  Now, feel free to rave about what a creative genius I am.

And – how my content area is so big and beautiful and wide now.  Because it totally is, isn’t it?  Please God tell me it doesn’t look skinny anymore or I will have completely wasted an entire Sunday and I will probably hunt you down and choke you with my nylons.

Edited to add: heh, well, apparently I am the only person in the entire world who can see me.  I can see me at home, I can see me at work, but no one else can.    I’m working on it.

Ahem.  Anyway.  So, I did spend about five hours on Sunday screwing around with my template design.  It was the easiest way I could find to keep my back to my husband.

Do you remember the whole “housecleaning debate”?  For those of you who do not keep careful tabs on my life because… well I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t… let me summarize:  my husband is a dumb ass and insisted that housecleaning was no big deal and he would handle it himself.

And we’re not talking about picking up the socks off the floor.  We’re talking about the REAL cleaning – the shit that usually keeps me on my hands and knees for at least four hours out of every weekend (hello Google search freak! )

Anyway, it had been about two weeks since any of this “cleaning” had been done.  It wasn’t going to be able to go any longer.  I live with two boys.  Two boys who seem to have problems when they pee.  Two weeks is too long – and any longer is NOT an option.

So, I gently shook my husband awake Sunday morning and reminded him that he had a busy day ahead of him.  He grumbled a bit and I reminded him of his early tantrum – and his promise to “do it himself because it’s not a big fucking deal.”

I spent the next several hours, nay, the rest of the day, trying to keep my chuckling under my breath and practicing my sickly sweet tone.

“Um, honey?  The bathroom looks very nice… but… um… the floor is sticky.  Don’t worry though babe, there’s plenty of Pine-sol downstairs!”

“Sweetie, I picked up all of the toys in the kids’ rooms and everything in our room so it will be easier for you to sweep and vacuum, ok?”

“Hey babe, I made a list and left it on the kitchen counter for you.  I thought it might help you remember everything that needed to get done.”  *batting eye lashes ever so sweetly*

I had to keep my back to him for most of the day to hide the fact that I was failing miserably at keeping a straight face.  Especially when I found him later frantically searching for that list.

Ah good times, good times.

I’ll tell you what though, he was right.  Paying someone an extra $50 every two weeks to take care of all that deep cleaning is a complete and total waste

of perfectly good entertainment.

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